1-6, 3: The Yellow Cat

NOTE: This is the third story in a collection of six stories about the girl and the boy. I've also posted the first story, The Hipbone, should you like to read it first, and will soon include the second and the fourth stories. You can read all the stories in order, as i add them, if you click on 1-6 below or to the left.





The Yellow Cat

            It looks abandoned.

            Then why'd we have to deactivate the alarm?

            ..To dissuade squatters?

            Or vandalism.

            Well, if it's abandoned then no one will mind if we look around.

            What if there are security cameras? What if John screwed up and we
      triggered a silent alarm?

            Then we better be quick. You two take the west end, John and i will
      go this way. If you find anything use the walkie.

            Okay.

            K.

      The building was old and dark. A thin layer of dust covered every surface. It was mostly empty. There were some desks and chairs, a table here and there. Entering the next room they could tell by the layout of the counters that they had found another lab. There was one old microscope. All the other equipment had been removed. A yellowing newspaper lay on the counter. The girl picked it up. The date read December 8 1991.

            This paper is almost a year old. :said the girl: Think that's how long
      it's been since someone was here?

            I don't know, maybe... :said the boy: Hey, through here.

      He went through a pair of steel plated double doors. She followed him. On the other side were several rows of kennels and small animal cages. He radioed their friends on the walkie-talkie.

            We found it. :he said.

            Are there any animals? :asked the voice on the walkie-talkie.

            No, the cages are empty. This place hasn't been used in months at
      least.

            Wait. :said the girl.

            What? :he asked, releasing the PTT button.

            I found something.

            Ben? You there? You okay? :the walkie-talkie asked.

            Yeah, :he answered: Sarah found something.

            What? :asked the walkie-talkie.

            A cat. :said the girl: There's a yellow cat.

            She found a cat. :he said into the walkie-talkie.

      The boy came around to the girl's side.

            Is it alive? :he asked.

            Yeah. It's just sitting there. :she said: It's looking at me.

            Just one? :the walkie-talkie asked.

            Looks like it. :said the boy.

            That's weird. We'll be right there.

      The boy knelt down next to the girl. She poked her fingers through the gaps in the cage. The cat sniffed her fingertips.

            Lila and John are coming. :he said.

       The girl nodded.

            Do you have the wire cutters? :she asked.

            Yeah, but...i don't know...

            What?

            Well, they took all the animals except for this one. And it's locked. There must be a
      reason.

            Maybe he was forgotten.

            Maybe...

            Look how quiet he is. Sitting back there all alone. They probably just
      forgot he was here.

            I guess... But why isn't he dead?

            What do you mean?

            Look around. It must have been a couple months at least since anyone
      was here. You're the one who found that year old newspaper. So what's he
      been eating? Where's he been shitting?

            I don't know... But we can't leave him here.

            What if he's diseased?

            He's not diseased. He's fine.

            How do you know? Who knows what kind of experiments they were
      doing down here. He could be a zombie.

            He is not a zombie!

            He kind of looks like a zombie cat.

            You wish.

            Where is it? :Lila asked, entering through the double doors with John
      behind her.

            Over here. :said the boy.

      Lila peered down to look at the cat.

            She looks pretty good. What are you waiting for? Release her.

            I don't know... :said the boy.

            He thinks it's a zombie. :said the girl.

            A zombie cat? :John smirked: Wicked.

            You guys are ridiculous. :said the girl.

            He kind of has a point. :said Lila.

            What? :the girl exclaimed: You've got to be kidding.

            It's obviously been a while since anyone has been here. How is this
      cat still alive? :Lila asked: ...I think this time we should leave it until
      we have a secure place to take it. We need to find out what's been done to it
      and if it's safe to release. My buddy Rod is a vet, i'll work it out with him.

      John walked out of the room and the boy and Lila followed.

            Wait! :called the girl.

            We'll come back. :Lila said: We need to be careful in case it's been
      infected or something. You wouldn't want to be responsible for
      unleashing a deadly virus that kills the whole cat population of America,
      would you?

            No, but...

            We'll come back, Sarah. Now hurry up. We need to get out of here.

      Lila stepped through the swinging doors. The girl looked at the cat.

            I'm sorry. :she said, turning to leave: They won't let me take you out. But we'll be
      back, i promise.

            No, you won't. :a voice said in the darkness.

        
      The girl spun around, scanning the room for the source of the sound. She was ready to dismiss it as nothing more than her typically overworked imagination, when she heard it again.

            That's what they all say. :the voice added.


      Looking down to the cage, she eyed the cat suspiciously.


            Was that...you?... :she asked the cat.


      When the cat did nothing but stare blankly back at her, she started to get up.


           Yes. Yes, it was me. :said the cat: Don't freak out.

            What!? Is this for real?

            No, you're on a hidden camera show. :said the cat.

            I am? :the girl looked around for hidden cameras.

            No! I'm a talking cat, i wouldn't be on a TV show! :the cat growled: I'd
      be strapped down in some top secret government laboratory being poked
      and prodded by god knows what.

            You can talk! :the girl stared at the cat in amazement: Like, you're
      actually talking!... Did they do this to you?

            Do what?

            Make it so you can talk?

            Beats me.

            Hey, Li-

            -I wouldn't do that - call for your friends. :the cat cut her off:  They'll think
      you're crazy.

            Not when they hear you talk.

            They won't.

            Why won't they?

            Why should they?

            So that they don't think i'm crazy... So that i don't think i'm crazy.

            Not good enough.

            Well that isn't fair. Why would you talk to me and not them?

            Good question. You should think about that one.

            Hey, Sarah, come on! :the boy popped his head into the room.

            Hold on. :the girl said, to the boy or the cat.

      The girl jumped up. She ran over to the boy, grabbed the wire cutters out of his backpack and snipped away at the cage until she'd made a hole big enough for the cat to get through.

            Oh no, Sarah, what are you doing?

            Oh don't worry about it. The cat isn't sick, he's just...different.

            How do you know that?

            I just do! :she snapped.

      The girl turned to the cat.

            You can get out now. :she said: You aren't like, sick or evil or
      anything, are you?

            Me? :said the cat: Heavens, no.

            Okay, good. Do you want to come with us? Will you? We can get you some
       food and water - whatever you need.

            Thank you, but there is something i need to do first.

            Oh... :she said, wrought with disappointment: Will you be okay on your own?

            I always am.

            Okay... Well...good luck then...

      The girl got up, walked past the boy and out of the room. He looked at her strangely, following close behind her.

            Are you alright? :he asked.

            I'm fine. :she said.

            You seemed to be having a very...animated conversation with that cat.

            I always talk to animals. You've seen me do it loads of times.

            Not quite like that...

            Why? :she asked: Did you hear him talk back?

            You're kidding, right?

            ...Yep.

            Are you sure you're okay? Did it scratch you or bite you or anything?

            No, he's totally tame. Don't worry about it, i'm fine. I just felt bad for
      having to leave him that's all.

            Okay... You didn't hear him talk back to you, did you?

            I was joking.

            Okay...

      The girl stopped and turned to face him.

            You worry too much. :she said.

            Is that so?

            Yes. You never were such a spoil sport when we were younger.

            That's because i was blinded by love and didn't know any better.

            Your love for me doesn't impair your vision anymore? :she frowned.

            My love for you impairs me plenty. :he smiled: Don't you worry.

            Well, i'd have to agree with you there. :she nodded to the window.

      Red and blue lights flashed from outside.

            Fuck. :said the boy.

            Run! :said the girl.

      After a successful dash from the police, the boy dropped the girl at her apartment.

            You sure you don't want to come in? :she asked.

            I'm sure i do want to come in, but i have finals in the morning. I can't
      afford to screw this up.

            Look at you being all responsible.

            I know. Weird, isn't it?

            Very.

            I'll call you.

            Mm hm. :she grinned at him through the window after closing the
      truck door behind her.

            Uh huh. :he said, smiling in return.

      The girl hopped up on the rocker panel and leaned in through the open window. They kissed goodnight before the boy drove home and the girl walked down the path to her apartment. At the door, fumbling with the keys, she heard something behind her and turned around.

            I've never been to this part of town before. :said a familiar voice.

            ...Cat? :the girl called out.

      The yellow cat sauntered out of the bushes.

            You live here? :he asked.

            Yeah... How did you find me?

            Followed your scent. Good hunting ground here.

            Uh, yeah... I-

            I'll be staying for a while. :the cat informed her: I don't require
      much. I would like a fluffy pillow.

            A pillow?

            Yes, fluffy. I'll catch most of my own food but having a few cans of
      Friskies on hand wouldn't hurt.

            Um, okay...

            Come to think of it you should pick up a bag of kibble too. Sometimes
      you just need something with a little crunch.

            Okay, well uh-

            You know this is the first time i've been to the Hollow Springs
      neighborhood. They say it's like the Bermuda Triangle of Willowoak.

            They do? I mean, yeah. I know.

            So?

            What?

            Do you live here on the path or is there more?

            Huh? Oh. No. I live inside.

            Well, let's do this then.

            Okay...

      The girl found the door key and let herself and the cat inside. The cat looked around, jumping up on the back of the couch.

            Not bad. :he said: This will do.

            How long will you be staying?

            Don't know. Not sure yet. Not long probably. A few weeks most
      likely. Pillow?

            Oh. There are the throw pillows on the couch and a few on my bed
      down the hall.

            I'll try them out.

            I'm sorry, i'm trying to wrap my head around this. You're not very...
      catlike.

            I never said i always was a cat.

            What were you before?

            Good question. What are any of us? What does it really mean "to
      be"? What are you?

            I'm a person.

            Me too.

            You're a cat.

            Cats are people too.

            But what were you before you were a person-cat?

            Maybe i was one of you.

            A human? No way. Did they transfer a human brain into a cat body
      and the cat brain into your human body?

            I'm not an expert, but i'm pretty sure the cat brain would get bruised
      bouncing around in a human head, don't you think? Not to mention how
      a human brain would fit into my head... I shudder to think...

            Hm. That's true... But maybe they were able to transfer
      consciousnesses or something.

            Isn't there a rather large difference between what a feline brain and a
       human brain are capable of? Would a feline's brain have the capacity to
       handle human awareness?

            Maybe. Maybe cats are smarter than we think. How do you know so
      much about brains? Were you a scientist or something?

            Good question. You should think about that.

            You keep saying that! Why should i think about it?

            Why not? Thinking is good for you. You don't want a lazy brain.


      Determined not to get sidetracked, the girl stuck to the matter at hand.

            So...you don't know how you got to be this way?

            I never said that.

            You implied it.

            I just didn't tell you.

            Well, do you?

            How does anyone get to be any way? I was born. I lived. Here i am.

      He smiled. She shivered. It wasn't a pretty sight.

            You know what i mean. :she said.

            Do i? :he asked.

            Tell me how you got to be this way, how you came to be...different.
      I mean, most cats don't talk, as far as i know, and aren't nearly as
      intelligent as you are.

            Like all felines i love a good compliment, but not at the expense of
      my species. You didn't know i could talk until i said something to you.
      Maybe most cats don't deem you worthy of their special attention.

            Yeah...but Ben couldn't hear you.

            I was talking quietly.

            I don't know... How did you survive in that cage for so long?

            I was only in there a few hours.

            Really? But that place hasn't been used in ages.

            Maybe, maybe not. I wouldn't know. The last boy i tried talking to
      took me there and locked me inside.

            That's horrible! Why?

            He too was surprised by my vocabulary skills.

            Well, it is a little alarming at first.

      The cat glared at her.

            Is there a reason you're here? :she asked: That you followed me?

            Yes.

            What is it?

            I'll tell you later.

            Seriously?

            Yes.

            Why?

            I'll tell you when it matters.

            It doesn't matter right now?

            No.

            Can you tell me anyway?

            No.

            Why not?

            Because i don't know what it is yet.

            You don't know what it is that you came here specifically to tell me?

            Correct.

            How does that work?

            No idea.

            Oh.

            Are you done with the twenty questions then?

            I guess so. For now.

            Good. I'm thirsty.

            Oh. Okay. I'll get you a bowl.

      Within a few days time, the girl and the cat grew accustomed to living with one another. The girl started looking forward to having someone to come home to and soon found herself rather enjoying their nightly visits when she came home from work or school. Sometimes they would eat together. She kept the fluffy pillow he had chosen at the foot of her bed, where he preferred to sleep.

      In the morning she would get up, get ready for work or school, and let the cat out as she walked out the door. In the evening, the cat would often be sitting on the doormat, sunbathing in the last warm rays of pre-dusk sun on the path, or lying on the little wall outside her apartment. She would fumble with her keys at the door and he would stretch, yawn and follow her inside.

      One day, the girl got a call.

            Hello? :she said.

            Hey, babe. :said the boy.

            Hey, what's up?

            Wanna see a movie tonight?

            Hmm...okay.

            What, have other plans?

            No. What are we gonna see?

            Lady's choice.

            Alright then. I'll see what's playing and let you know when you get here.

            Deal.

            Bye.

            Bye.

      The girl grabbed Sunday's newspaper out of the bin and looked through the movie section.

            Going out? :asked the cat.

            Yeah. :she said: I haven't seen Ben for a while. We've both been so
      busy with work and school. I miss him. Funny though... I didn't even
      realize i missed him until i heard his voice.

            Maybe you don't miss him as much as you think.

            That's a weird thing to say.

            Well, if you really missed him wouldn't you have seen him by now?

            I don't know. We were busy, like i said.

            You forgot about him.

            No i didn't.

            You forgot about him until he called you. You didn't even remember
      you had a boyfriend at all.

      There was a moment of silent pondering before the girl realized the cat spoke the truth.

            ...That's true. :she said: How could i forget about Ben? I love Ben. We've been
      together since we were fifteen.

      The cat was smiling again.

            Did you have something to do with this? Are you making me forget
      Ben?

            I can't make you do anything.

            Then how did i forget someone that important?

            That's a good question. You should think about that.

            I think i did think about it and i think i think it was you. I think you can
      do a lot of things. And you know what else i think? I think you're jealous.

            That's absurd. Cats don't get jealous.

            Yeah right, cats are super jealous! I grew up with cats. I would pet one
      first and then the other and then as soon as turned my back the second one
      would smack the first one.

            They're weak examples.

            You're jealous.

            I know you.

            Yeah? How well can you know me in two weeks?

            Who said it's only been two weeks?

            It's been two weeks since you've been staying with me and believe me,
      i'm beginning to question this arrangement.

            I never said that was when we met.

            What do you mean?

            I know you.

            How?

            When i met you it was Fall. The leaves were turning red. You looked up at
      the trees. Turning around. Slowly spinning. You looked happy.

            What are you talking about?

            You were wearing a red skirt and an ivory blouse with swallows on it. You
      had a red ribbon in your hair. You looked like you walked out of a post World
      War II era movie about swing dancing and a lack of nylons and jam.

            ...I remember that. That was at school. You were at my school?

            I used to follow you. You never noticed me.

            I would have noticed a yellow cat running around eventually.

            I wasn't always-

      The doorbell rang.

            That's Ben. :said the girl.

      She answered the door.

            Hey.

            Hey, you ready?

            Yeah, the movie starts in half an hour.

            Okay, cool.

            Let me just get my bag.

            K... Hey, when did you get a cat?

            Oh. Um... :the girl ducked into her bedroom, coming back out with
      her purse: Just a couple weeks ago.

            She looks familiar.

            Does he?

            Yeah... Like i've seen her somewhere before.

            Well, he's a he and i'm sure you haven't. So let's go.

      The boy walked out the door. She held it open.

            You want to go out? :she asked the cat.

      The cat sat where he was on the couch. He stared at her, flicking his tail rhythmically.

            Suit yourself. :she said, and shut the door.

      After the movie, the boy and the girl got something to eat. They sat in the car with their burgers and shakes and listened to music overlooking the city from the top of the hill.

            Why don't you want to go to your place? :asked the boy.

            I don't know. It's been kind of crowded lately.

      He smiled.

            Getting too much of your own company?

      She smiled.

            Okay, :she said, turning to face him: This is going to sound crazy.

            I love it when you get crazy.

            You know that cat? At my apartment?

            The one you have never mentioned and i just saw for the first time
      today?

            Yeah.

            Okay.

            He talks. Well, he talks to me. He doesn't seem to talk to anyone else.

            Okay.

            And now he's talking like he used to be something else. Like he used
      to be a person. And he said these really weird things about knowing me
      from school and remember that kid, Gordon? The one who used to follow
      me everywhere?

            The ginger?

            Yeah. And then he just disappeared one day and there were bulletins in
      the office and around town but he never turned up?

            I figured he just dropped out and had hysterical parents or something.

            Or...

            Or...?

      She looked at the boy, unable to say the words.

            Or...he turned into a cat? :asked the boy.

            She shrugged: If a dead woman can turn into a fish...

            Yeah, but, at least that kind of made sense.

            How? How did that make any sense?

            Well, she was killed in the river. So she became a fish. Or was
      reincarnated. And then when we had that drought it exposed her bones
      so she found someone to discover them so she could be put to rest.

            But we didn't know that at the time. You put that together later, after
      everything. I'm still in the middle of this thing. Afterwards i'll probably be
      able to come up with a clever explanation for everything too.

            I don't know...

            You just don't think it's possible because i found him.

            What?

            If you found him you would have called me to brag about it and then i
      would have totally believed and supported you and come to help and fix
      everything just like before.

            I didn't say i don't believe you.

            Really.

            Hey this isn't the same. You saw the fishwoman. I can't hear the cat.

      The girl thought for a minute.

            Okay. Tonight after you drop me off, call me when you get home. I'll
      pretend to hang up, but i'll leave the phone off the hook so you can listen.

            Okay. :the boy agreed: You look worried.

            It's just...what if you can't hear him?

            Then we'll get you the best psychoanalyst money can buy.

            I'm serious, Ben! What if he has some kind of trick or something so only
      i can hear him? Would you still believe me?

            Let's just see what happens with the phone. That's a good idea.

            I would believe you!

            Sarah, let's see what happens, okay? I didn't say i don't believe you.
      I'm just thinking of all the possibilities.

            You're so frustrating ever since you've been studying physics.

            Thanks, babe.

      The boy dropped the girl off and went home. He took a piss, opened a beer and brought the phone over to the couch. He had the girl on speed dial. Number 2. Right behind the regular pizza delivery place, and right after his mom.

      The phone rang a few times.

            Hello? :said the girl.

            This is Fido, responding to operation Pussy Patrol.

            No, i don't have it, sorry.

            Did you like my joke?

            I don't think it's there, but i'll check.

            It was a little funny.

            I don't think so.

            I was thinking about what to say all the way home and came up with it right
      before i got in the door. I thought it was pretty good.

            Huh. That's not what i would have thought.

            Well, okay... I still think it was good.

            Okay then, bye. :she said.

            Pretend bye. :he said.

      The girl set the phone down at an angle so it didn't hang up. The boy could hear the girl talking in the background. He listened, drinking his beer.

            I don't know what you're talking about. :said the girl.

            No, i don't. :she said.

            Yes, i would. :she said.

            Insulting me isn't going to help. :she said.

            What do you mean? :she asked.


      There was a long pause.

            If you told me who you were before then maybe i could tell you if i actually
      did notice you. :she said.

            Well, i can't say whether that's true or not since you say you weren't a cat
      before. :she said.

            Gordon... I knew it. :she sounded pleased with herself: I knew it was you!
      But, why?

            You couldn't have loved me. :she said: You didn't even know me.

            I'm sorry... :she said.

      The girl was starting to sound upset. The boy had no idea what to do or make of this situation. He was concerned.

            Sarah? :the boy shouted into the phone: Sarah! Are you there? Can you hear me?

            What's that? :it was another voice, barely audible over the phone, but it grew
      louder: Is someone on the phone? :the voice demanded: Is that Ben!?

            I thought i was going crazy! :said the girl: Don't be upset.

            I trusted you! :the other voice shouted.

      There was a commotion on the other end of the phone. The line went dead.

            Sarah? Sarah are you there? :the boy asked.

      When he called back and the line was in use, he grabbed his keys and ran out the door.

      The cat jumped onto the counter, knocking the phone over and tearing the cord out of the wall.

            I'm sorry, Gordon. I really am. :said the girl.

            I did this for you. :said the cat.

            What do you mean?

            I just wanted you to notice me. There was an ad in the paper. Better Changes
      to Better Yourself or something corny like that. Came across as some kind of work-
      shop with special exercises you can do to change who you are, to make you a better
      person. But i got there and it was a paid trial, they said. Totally safe, but they were
      still experimenting, they said. Trying to get the method down right, they said! I
      wasn't supposed to be a fucking cat!

            What were you supposed to be?

            Someone better! Someone you would notice... Not chubby, four eyed, pasty white, speckled and freckled Gordon.

            But how? How did you end up like this?

            I don't know. I just woke up and here i was.

            What happened to your body?

            I don't know. I never saw it again. I never saw any of them again. I
      woke up and everything and everyone was gone, like it had never existed.

            When was this?

            I don't know. I don't know how long it's been.

            You've been missing for over a year.

            A year. Wow. Time goes by a lot faster this low to the ground.

            Gordon.

            Yeah?

            I'm sorry. I'm sorry i never paid attention to you.

            It's okay. I knew you had a boyfriend anyway...

      There was a pounding at the door.

            That's going to be Ben.

      The girl went to the door, unlocking it.

            I'm fine. :she said.

            Where is he? :he demanded.

            I'm right here. :said Gordon the cat.

      The cat sat on a couch cushion. The boy approached him angrily.

            I don't care if you're a fucking cat, you're still a stalker and you're stalking my girlfriend!

            I'm not stalking her, i live with her.

            She didn't know who you were! It counts!

            Maybe...

            It. COUNTS!

            It was kind of stalkerish. :said the girl.

       Gordon the cat rolled his eyes.

            Fine! :he said: I'm sorry for not being honest from the beginning.
      But i still have something important to tell you.

            That wasn't it? :asked the girl.

            No, :said Gordon the cat: That was entirely coincidental. I was as surprised as
      anyone when i saw you two weeks ago at the lab.

            Oh... So you weren't here because you have a crush on me?

            I was kind of here because of that. But i still have to tell you something.
      I mean, if you hadn't been you, i probably would have lived in the field until
      approaching you today. But i couldn't resist the opportunity to share your
      bed for a couple weeks.

            Hey. :said the boy.

            He's a cat. :the girl sighed: He can't do anything.

            He has eyes, doesn't he?

            And a pretty damn good memory. :said the cat, grinning.

            If you don't show some respect i'm gonna punt you like a football-

            Stop! Both of you. What is it that you want to tell me, Gordon?

            Well, come to think of it, it concerns both of you.

            How does it concern me? :asked the boy.

            Sit down. I'll tell you.

      The boy and girl sat down.

            Now, this may come as a shock, :said the cat: But you are not
      actually pregnant.

            What? :said the boy:

            What? :said the girl: What are you talking about? I'm not pregnant
      at all.

            Look. :said the cat.

      The boy and the girl looked down at the girl's stomach. It was rather large. And round.

            Holy shit.

            Oh my god.

            How did we not notice that before? :asked the boy.

            How did i not notice this before? :asked the girl: What am i, like nine months along?
      Oh god, am i going to go into labor? :the girl paced her breathing: Ben! I think i'm hav-
      ing a contraction! Ow, fuck. God damn it. This isn't happening. This isn't happening
      right now!

            No, it isn't. :said Gordon the cat.

            What do you mean!?

            Look again.

      They looked down at the girl's stomach a second time. Which was as flat as it had always been, thanks to a weekly regime of crunches and aerobics.

            What the fuck? :said the girl.

            What's going on? :asked the boy.

            That's the baby that will never happen.

            What do you MEAN?

            The two of you will never have any children. Your electro-magnetic
      energy is highly concentrated and unusually intensified for humans of
      this time period. It makes you more sensitive to other areas of life.

            Other areas of life? :asked the boy.

            Other things that most people will never see or experience or believe
      are even possible at all. :said Gordon the cat.

            Oh, like talking cats?

            Like fishwomen?

            For example. But when two people with such energy reaching the
      levels yours are at, get together, you will never be able to procreate. In
      order to further your lines, you would have to find a mate with a lower
      electro-magnetic energy frequency.

            So, if we break up we can have kids? But not together?

            That's right.

            Are you sure?

            Yes. Because of your E.M.E.F. when you think about being a mother
      you may in fact perceive yourself as with child. The longer you entertain
      this perception the stronger it will become, until others perceive it as well.
      But it is not a fact based in reality. Once you remember conception with
      Ben is an impossibility, the vision will fade.

            Well then what if i decide it's not impossible? What if i make the
      decision that Ben and i can get pregnant, if he and i both decide and
      we make ourselves know it to be true? Then can i have a baby? With
      Ben?

            No. You can appear to be pregnant. You can even convince yourself
      you are giving birth. But there will never be a baby.

            Huh. :said the girl: I don't know how i feel about that.

            Me neither. :said the boy.

            Naturally, :said Gordon the cat: It will take some time to adjust to this
      new information.

            So, that's it? That's what you wanted to tell me?

            Yes.

            Why?

            It's my job. As an Ambassador of The Changes.

            What's that?

            I don't know, really. It's from the experiment, i think. I have these
      things i need to say to specific people at specific times. When i see the
      person, i know. When it's the right time, i know that too. And then the
      words come and i know just what to say.

            They did that to you? Why?

            Because changes are coming.

            What kind?

            I don't know.

            Well that's very helpful. Thanks, Gordon. :said the boy, leaning back into the couch and crossing his arms.

            Wow. :said the girl.

            So... Will you be staying then, Gordon? Or...leaving? :the boy asked.

            Oh, i think you'll be fine on your own. Besides, i'm pretty sure there's
      someone somewhere i have to tell something to at some point. Wouldn't
      want to be late. :said the cat, hopping off the couch and trotting over to
      the door.

            Are you sure you don't want to stay? :asked the girl: Indoor cats live
      longer. And i still have a couple cans of Friskies. And...i'm going to miss
      you.

            You are? :asked Gordon the cat.

            Yeah, of course. It was nice having someone to come home to.

      The cat looked at the boy.

            You still have someone, though, Sarah. Don't take him for granted. :the
      cat smiled.

            Never. :she smiled back.

      The girl opened the door and the cat walked outside.

            And you can hold onto that Friskies. :said the cat: I might be back.
     One day...

            You bet.

            One last thing.

            Yeah?

            That thing in the trunk in the guest room. Now you know you won't
      be needing it. Give it to someone who will.

      The cat ran off, leaping over the wall and disappearing into the night. The girl shut the door. She turned to face the boy.

            But i don't have a guest room... :she said.

*                  *                  *

Story 4, The Blue Baby Dress, picks up where The Yellow Cat leaves off in the next installment if 1-6, Stories of the Girl and the Boy

22013: Apologies for my Absence

Sometimes real life gets in the way of what you want to do.

I have a rare form of Klippel-Feil Syndrome, for example.  It's a fusion of the vertebrae that in my case occurs in the thoracic region, does not affect my neck, twisted and contorted my spine just enough that it makes me look slouchy
and causes me a considerable amount of pain.
200 mg of morphine's worth a day, for example.
And not even that helps much anymore.

I can't stand for very long or walk very far. Normal things that no one likes doing anyway like cleaning and taking out the trash are sometimes impossibilities for me.
I have had a lot of trouble with housemates for these reasons.
I will never backpack through Europe
or be a runner. I had to quit dance
and could never do gymnastics.
I always have to ask people
to wait for me.
Or help me.

Sometimes i come home and am in so much pain i just fall down and cry for half an hour because i can't sit up any longer.

It sucks. But there are always things that suck.
There is always something that will suck more for someone else
and less for someone other.
You do what you have to do
and be who you need to be.
And you work on the dreams you can.

I want to be a writer, for example. I can write anywhere. I can write any which way. Even when i can't sew or paint, i can still write.

Except for right now.

Because a week ago i was hit by a drunk driver, who succeeded in fucking up my spine even more. And who totaled my car. And i have to move a week from tomorrow and have barely gotten started.

So what i'm trying to say is
if you're interested in what i'm writing,
please don't go anywhere if my entries become sparse.

I promise i will pick them up again, once i am moved in to my new home.

Perhaps i will even scan some photos of The School and whichever students i can find who will give their permission,
or who are deceased.

Sadly, there are a few.

But if i tell you now who was killed,
who committed suicide,
and who was last seen homeless and on parole,
you may have less of a reason to come back and find out for yourselves.

So
my promise to you:
I will resume my work on The School

I am also nearly finished with some new stories, one of which i should be able to post quite soon. So please don't think i would ever abandon poor Werewolf or his secret hideout. This is my one remaining safe place. The last refuge of my people...

I will return.

The Little Girl in My Stomach

There is a little girl that lives in my stomach.
She makes little scratches
and sings in mono-gurgle.
Her skin is all under water pearl.
She's a shadow of a little girl.
And she has milky white eyes
and teeth like knives and long stringy hair that falls down to her ankles in layers.
I ask her to please come out. Please come out of my stomach. :i say: Please.
But she won't.

The little girl in my stomach
keeps my heart from falling down there when i'm sad and sorry.
She holds out her hands and pushes it back up. Where it belongs.
She's often bored,
so i tell her to come out. But she never does.

Then one day
i woke up and felt her clambering up my throat.
Her little clawing hands and feet kicking. She crawled right into my mouth and curled up in one of the hollows of my teeth where a filling had fallen out.

She laughed and laughed.
She thought she was very clever.

She eats all my food now. Reaches out with her long scrawny arms and shovels it into her mouth. She eats a lot for such a tiny girl. Now i am always hungry. And my heart almost fell into my stomach once. It's quite lonely in there. In my stomach. With nothing to fill it up or live there anymore. I try putting all sorts of new things inside it to keep it company:

A flower pot
Another planet's moon
Moth balls
An old friend's comfort zone
Cherry pits
Pluto
A dog collar with missing spikes
An empty honey bear bottle
A small bee hive
A dozen roses
Three doilies
A burlap sack with blue laces inside
A robot
Butterfly wings

But nothing could get passed her. My little girl.

I have a dentist appointment on Thursday.
I'm trying to decide if i should warn him
about the little girl
that used to live in my stomach.



.

8/4/12

Friday the 3rd. Nine O'clock.

Top secret love-avoiding strategies put into motion with sub-par success rates.

It is unfortunate how dive bars attract tall, muscular, tattooed men looking for something different.  I am always something different.

If i blindfold my heart and stab into it one pointy stick and spin it around like a top on a table, when it stops will it point to my one true love?

Will i want him any more because my heart has landed on him at random, and i have not? Yet...

Will i ever want anyone enough to take him when he wants me?

Will i ever want him more than the fear of having him...or being had...


Tonight, deep in thought, lost in my work at the bar, i will ignore the advances of several drunken strangers - politely, so as to continue the appropriating of tips and/or free drinks. I will bring a handkerchief to delicately swipe their sloppy kisses off my cheek (note to self - wash face immediately upon returning home). As the night rolls on, as the alcohol collects in their bloodstreams and alters their perceptions, i will watch them as a modern anthropologist working on a new documentary series. I will take notes. I will gather information for:

Today's Human After Hours
Part One: Dive Bar Regulars

And i will use it for my betterment.
But mostly, i will use it for our entertainment.

And we will laugh.

And i will forget everything that i am not.

Not the Story about the Lion, the Peanut Butter and the Vagina

To those of you who have come from Imgur, so sorry to disappoint you with my poor memory. Try as i might i just can't recall my lion tamer story. I remember all the scenes, but none of the words. But i'll work on it. It'll come to me...

In the meantime, i offer you an even better story. Better, because it's true. ...Like all my stories...


One fateful evening i was sitting in a hut tub with some friends, one of which told me she heard the most wretched of tales from a friend of hers who works at a Planned Parenthood as a gynecologist. Immediately i thought: I need to hear this story right now. This is going to be good.

Earlier that day, the gynecologist got a patient in who was severely overweight. So obese in fact that she had no hope of examining her own vagina if anything was ever amiss, as she couldn't see over her stomach into the mirror.*  Dressed in a paper gown, underthings off, she positioned herself on the table.


       So what brings you here today? :asked the gynecologist.

       There's a bad stank comin' from down there. :said the woman.

       Ok, let's have a look. : said the gynecologist.


Because the woman was so obese, the doctor had to call in two assistants to hold open several rolls of flesh to see her vagina, and tragically (and this is truly what happened and my deepest sympathies go to this woman because i can only imagine the humiliation) they had to use the handle of a broom to lift the largest rolls of fat above her pubis, while the two other women held everything open on the sides. While this may seem humourous, it's really very sad, and i do feel bad, but i am a story teller and the story must go on.

So after much adjusting and propping, indeed a foul stench was noticed emanating from this woman's nether regions. The gynecologist got in there with her headband light, and she found the source of the problem.

In this woman's vagina, undoubtedly for some time, was an old, withered, mostly decayed

frog.

The doctor and nurses were speechless. Never in all their careers combined had they removed a dead amphibian from a vagina. The doctor thought about what to say. This was a delicate matter, but she was understandably concerned. She asked the woman:


       Are you and your partner into any...unusual sex practices?

       What you mean? :asked the woman.

       Anything that could be considered different...or kinky? :asked the doctor.

       No... :said the woman: But me and my boyfriend like to have sex down by the lake. But we haven't done that for like three weeks.


And that my friends, is the true story of the mystery object, the stench and the vagina. Let's all take a moment to mourn this tragic ending.




*Fun Fact: For all you lads out there who may not know, it is advised for a woman to see her own vagina by placing a mirror between her legs, or positioning herself appropriately in front of one to get a good idea of what's going on down there. This is recommended to all women, as it's generally a wise idea to know what one's own vagina looks like, but especially comes in handy when something goes wrong.**

**Fun Fact: Don't ask.

Demon Lovers

She and i,

we went swimming in the pool above the city: a clear crystal well on the roof of the hotel.

From up high

we could see the city glow and the greatest city bridge below.

And from there came two flying,
bats the size of men.

But look! :she said at their approach: They are bats no longer. Look at their eyes, their features, their size. Look how their arms and legs grow out like a man's would go. And look! how their webby wings are tattered and torn. Ah, they are looking for lovers. Yes, they are weary and worn. Shh...
Stay...
Stay...
Under the water
and they won't come for us.

So we hid
under the water
as they skimmed and caught the surface
with their torn and tattered, crooked wings
and sharp and splintered clawlike things
they have for hands.

And through the ripples in the water
i could see the shining stars and
i could see the dancing lights like
tiny suns waving to us from the distance of the night.

Then
disappearing one by one, the little suns,
the silhouette of a bat-winged man's descent,
horns twisted and bent, brown fur matted, webbed wings tattered,
hung over me.

He crouched at the edge of the pool above me. Looking down into the water. Looking right down into me. And smiled as he waited.
His open mouth alone a thing of nightmares.

My single breath expanding to explosion in my breast,
i looked for her in the water, but she was getting out.
She was charmed by the other one, the demons of our doing,
the bats that are no longer.
And i thought:

If she will go, then so shall i, and together we'll be demon's wives.

So up i went and broke the surface, to the smile of my monster. He took my hand and i looked to her, and she was happy with her fallen man.

So with the night across our shoulders
and new shadows in our breasts,
they flew us to the rafters of the greatest city bridge.
And below we could see people
and cars and coloured lights.
And they sat us down and told us
of our duties as demons' brides.

Her monster turned to her and my monster turned to me
and i picked thorns out of his heart as he looked into my eyes.

And then
as if mimicking human gesture,
as if trying to be sincere,
he took my hand
in his massive paw
with gangly fingers and
jagged claws and
although i was frightened,
although i was afraid,
from him i heard every word
that tripped upon his curling lips
in growls,
in howls,
in demon tongue.
And i wondered
how i was going to like
preparing people for our supper, for our breakfast and our dinner. For that was all that demons eat, and as their wives we cook the meat. And we lie with them, though they never bathe. And their teeth like wires! And their piercing gaze! And their flesh like fire! And their steps like thunder! that scatter the birds and our hearts asunder...

And i thought,

Ohh,

I thought:


...I hope this creature loves me...